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Chase Maddox Gray was born 10/7/09 and was absolutely perfect!  Everyone tells you that your life is going to change forever, but no one can explain to you how wonderful you feel when you look at your baby for the first time.  It is literally love at first sight and at that moment you realize that you will do absolutely anything for that precious baby.  From the beginning he has been a miracle. 

We went home with what we thought was a perfectly healthy, beautiful baby.  We had noticed in the hospital, however, a small knot on his back.  Nobody really thought much about it but over the course of two weeks the lump got much larger.  We saw our pediatrician and after a couple more stops along the way ended up at Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City for a biopsy.  From the beginning, we were told that the chances of this being a cancer were very small.  But as luck would have it, we "beat" the odds.  Right after the surgery on Monday (November 2) the doctors were almost certain it was some kind of malignant tumor. 

Wednesday (November 4th), exactly 4 weeks after birth, we received confirmation that Chase has embryonal rhabdomyosarcoma.  It is Stage 3 because of its size (approx. 6 cm) and location in the paraspinal muscles, in his back.  Please continue to pray for our sweet angel.  We truly believe that God has a special plan for our family and that it includes a cure for our baby! 

For periodic updates please visit Chase's CaringBridge site 

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August 2011 Update:

First of all, I just want to express my gratitude and appreciation to everyone who has been following Chase's story.  As many of you know from Chase's caring bridge site, Chase has FINISHED CHEMOTHERAPY!  What an amazing journey he has been on.  We are so proud of him and sometimes find ouselves just watching him and then Robert and I will look at each other and just smile.  It is surreal to see how much he has grown and changed even given the poison that was in his little body for 19 months. 

His 3 month, post treatment scans are scheduled for September 23rd, 2011.  We hate "scanxiety"!  Then, on November 3rd, he will have surgery to correct his scoliosis (curvature of the spine) and kyphosis (hunchback).  He will be getting a VEPTR.  Other than normal appointments, we are having a blast at home!  Chase is enjoying his new "school", where they have a fun swimming pool, lots of toys, and many fun friends. 

Again thank you so much for your support and prayers!

Much love,
Amanda 
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From Chase's Mommy:

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would be sitting at my computer tonight writing for my son's website.  My first born son.  A child I wanted so badly.  I will never forget the day the surgeon came out of the operating room and said to Robert and I, "Your son has a spindle cell tumor, I wish I could tell you it is completely benign and nothing to worry about.  But I can't".  It's true, at that very moment I have realized my life will never be the same.

Seven months ago, Robert and I were busy living our crazy lives.  We both have excellent jobs.  We loved spending time together and never let the grass grow under our feet.  Robert is a HVAC Technician at the local hospital and I am a Financial Analyst.  Before Chase was born, I also taught classes for a local community college in the evenings.  We were so excited when we found out we were pregnant, we high fived as soon as the test results were in!  Little did we know what was in store for us. 

Now, here I am 28 years old.  I should be worrying about losing baby weight for my 10 year class reunion.  Not finding the right doctors for my son to cure him from RHABDOMYOSARCOMA!  A disease I couldn't even pronounce at first.  It has been six months since Chase's diagnosis, and I still wake up some mornings hoping this has just been a bad dream.  And some nights, like tonight, I can't sleep at all.  Funny how you can be extremely exhausted and yet full of anxiety at the same time.  This is a life of hurry up and wait.

This has without a doubt been the hardest ride of my life.  It is hard on everyone.  Robert, me, our parents, our family, our friends and our marriage.  But luckily, we have Our Savior to give our fears and frustrations to.  Although I will be the first to admit somedays this is much easier said than done.

I know that for every event in life there is a reason.  I don't know that I will ever fully understand the reason God chose Chase for us.  But, I do know that I wouldn't change it for the world.  He is my everything!

Thank you so much for reading our story and showing your support!  All donations will be used for Chase's medical and travel expenses.

Much love to you all!
Amanda   

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